I am starting this blog as a place where those who are living with ADHD, either personally or along with a family member, can discuss the implications of what is actually considered a "disability". Naturally, as we all know, we deal with many frustrations, and I hope this place will be a positive blog where we can support each other, understand each other, and give each other helpful suggestions.
To begin with our story...My husband and I have been married for a little over 15 years. Our dating time was very short prior to engagement, and the engagement was mainly focused on wedding planning. We were very much in love and looking forward to starting a new life together. It wasn't too long after our wedding and honeymoon that the challenges of living together began to surface. It just seemed that life was a bit more difficult than we envisioned it would be as newlyweds. We quickly began to learn that we were pretty much opposites in just about every way possible. I am a Type-A personality and my husband is as non-Type-A as a person can be. Over the years, it's become a positive part of our marriage, but the growing pains to get here have been agonizing, at times.
As we began to navigate the new journey of marriage, we both found that our days were quickly filling with disappointments aimed at one another. I admit that we both expected way too much out of the other person and set ourselves up for disappointment, but things were beginning to occur that were very hard for me to digest. I began to use words like "lazy", "undependable", "forgetful", "messy". Before too long, I had a nice neat box, with hubby inside, labeled with all these traits, not sure how on earth I was going to survive a marriage with someone who obviously didn't care any more about me than this, because if he did, he would make a greater effort. In the meantime, being the extreme Type-A personality I was at the time, completely unable to control my tongue, I did not hold back in letting said hubby know about all my disappointments and unmet expectations. Walls began to go up, feelings were hurt quite often, and both of us were beginning to believe in a false view of the other person and our relationship. On the outside, we were an amazing couple, but on the inside, we were both crumbling.
It wasn't too long into our marriage that I attended a seminar regarding teaching children with ADHD. I felt like I had entered the "Twilight Zone" as the speaker up front was describing my hubby as if she knew him personally. When the checklist of traits often found in children with ADHD was passed around and we were told that 6-8 traits on the list might indicate the presence of ADHD, imagine my surprise when my hubby had almost ALL the traits. Any traits regarding "hyperactivity" did not apply to him, but the rest of my page was pretty much marked. I couldn't believe it!
(To be cont'd...)
(To be cont'd...)