How do I tell my child about ADD (ADHA)? by Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D. and Patricia Quinn, M.D.

How do I tell my child about ADD (ADHD)?

Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D. and Patricia Quinn, M.D.

Many parents are concerned about "labeling" their child with ADHD. Other parents feel it's important to discuss ADD (ADHD) with their child, but don't know where to start or exactly what to say.
Parents face a difficult dilemma due to the negative image that many people hold about ADD (ADHD). But not telling your child has negative consequences too. Just talk to an adult who has gone a lifetime without understanding the cause of his or her struggles and you'll quickly understand the importance of knowing about ADD (ADHD) as early in life as possible.

Why is important for your child to know about ADD (ADHD)? 

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Coping with ADHD Diagnosis by Brandi Valentine

As a parent or guardian, when your child was first diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, what were some of the first thoughts that came to mind and also, at the time your child was first diagnosed, what help, service or information would you have benefited most from?

By Brandi Valentine

That is the question that I asked of my readers in a recent Weekly ADDition. I'm not a professional writer but I tried to compile as much of it as I could so that I could share it with you.

As I read through the responses, the same words kept re-appearing. RELIEF, HOPE, SADNESS, FRUSTRATION AND IGNORANCE. Those who have a child diagnosed as ADD/ADHD have experienced them all.

Relief in knowing that there was a reason for their childs behavior and relief in knowing that the reason was a medical one, and not a result of something the parents had control over or were responsible for. It wasn't their parenting skills, they were not bad parents, nor was it the fault of a mother who felt that they were somehow responsible or had done something during pregnancy that caused their child. to be this way. It also gave many parents relief by knowing that they were not alone. For some, it even gave them insight as to how they behaved when they were a child.

Here are just a few examples of what readers had to say.

" Thank Goodness we found the problem. I was feeling very hopeless, as if my child was unruly by choice"

" Relief that there was a name for the way that my 16 year old son was acting and that he was not the only experiencing this."

" Relief, that there maybe help for him and those who have to live with him and guilt because my eldest child inherited dyslexia from me, and now my youngest had inherited ADHD from me."

" When my son was first diagnosed with ADHD it was both a relief and a disappointment. Being my first child, it was a relief to hear that there was something wrong, a reason why he didn't learn like other children and disappointment for not having a "normal" child."

"When my son was first diagnosed with ADHD, the first feeling was relief. Until that point, most people in our lives were convinced that all of our son's problems could be attributed to ineffective parenting skills."

" I honestly thought it was my fault and that I could have changed the outcome if only I had done something".

Very few comments were made about how hard or how easy it was to get a diagnosis for their child but again, most of the readers seemed to agree on another issue and that was the lack of support they received once their child had been diagnosed.

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ADHD Symptoms: How ADHD Differs in Boys & Girls by Mary Anne Dunkin

ADHD Symptoms: How ADHD Differs in Boys & Girls

Experts look at gender differences in the three types of ADHD.

By Mary Anne Dunkin
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Several years ago, neurology researcher Robert J. Melillo was preparing a presentation for a parent-teacher organization on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and its treatment. He began to recognize the symptoms he was reading about in his own elementary-school-age son. 

"He was hyperactive and impulsive," recalls Melillo. "His teachers came to us and said he was having a hard time focusing in school. He was easily distractible, very energetic, and a risk taker."

Melillo -- a chiropractor, author, and PhD candidate -- has since made it his life's work to better understand ADHD in order to help his own son as well as the growing number of other children diagnosed with ADHD (previously known as attention deficit disorder, or ADD).

The symptoms exhibited by his son -- hyperactivity and impulsive behaviors -- are perhaps the most visible symptoms of a problem that affects an estimated 8%-10% of school-age children. Parents often begin to suspect ADHD when they receive repeated calls or notes from their child's teacher saying he can't sit still or be quiet and his behavior is disrupting the class. And, yes, usually that child is a he.

ADHD Symptoms in Boys and Girls

"Boys are more likely to be diagnosed -- three boys to every girl," says Marjorie Montague, PhD, professor of special education at the University of Miami. "No one knows if it is more common in boys or just more likely to be diagnosed in them. It may just be that boys are referred more commonly by teachers," says Montague, whose research focuses on learning disabilities and emotional/behavioral disorders.

It may also be, at least partly, because people tend to think of ADHD in terms of the most well-known symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsivity -- symptoms more often exhibited in boys. But ADHD in children can also take other forms, particularly in girls. Forgetfulness, being easily distracted, losing or misplacing things, disorganization, academic underachievement, poor follow-through with assignments or tasks, poor concentration, and poor attention to detail are otherADHD symptoms.

Girls with ADHD may be more likely to be inattentive than hyperactive or impulsive. That may mean they are more likely to be underdiagnosed with the disorder. 

If you suspect that your child may have ADHD, it's important to understand the different forms it may take. There are three types of the disorder, which are characterized by different symptoms. To be diagnosed with ADHD, a child must exhibit these symptoms in more than one setting, such as home and school.

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ADHD College Survival Tips by Marissa Kantor

ADHD College Survival Tips

Essential life skills to guarantee success for college students with ADHD ADD or learning disabilities.

by Marissa Kantor

John Muscarello had no trouble making the transition to college life, despite his severe attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).

That's because the 20-year-old cultivated good habits while attending high school in Glen Head, New York. "I had an assignment pad where I wrote everything down," he explains. "I also had a big calendar on my bedroom wall. I wrote down upcoming papers and dates, so I always knew what I had going on. I would get home from sports, take a shower, eat dinner, take a pill, and then do all my work."

In high school, John handed in papers before they were due. "Teachers would help me revise them," he says, "and I'd hand them in again, when everyone else did." And he cultivated close relationships with faculty members - a strategy he continues at Pennsylvania's York College by e-mailing his professors at the beginning of each semester to introduce himself and explain his academic "issues." He got this idea from his mother, Mary, who always made it a point to meet with her son's teachers to give them a heads-up.

Of course, laughs Mary, "The fact that we owned a pastry shop and brought stuff to school didn't hurt either."

Things were different for David Burkhart, a 28-year-old graduate student. He had done well at the prep school he attended, where students woke up, ate, studied, and went to bed at prescribed times. Given the order imposed on him, no one even suspected that David had ADD, as well as dysgraphia.

But David's life unraveled as he began his freshman year at Auburn University.

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Nutrition, Diet, and Non-Drug ADHD Treatments by Carl Sherman, Ph.D.

A top ADHD expert explains the impact of nutrition, diet, vitamins, and other non-drug ADHD treatments.

You’ve heard that sugar causes attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD ADHD), haven’t you? And didn’t you read somewhere that vitamins may work just as well as medication for ADHD treatment? These days, there's a tremendous amount of information — and misinformation — about non-drug ADHD treatments.

To separate fallacy from fact, ADDitude’s Carl Sherman, Ph.D., spoke about ADHD treatment with one of the nation’s top experts on ADHD, Andrew Adesman, M.D., chief of developmental and behavioral pediatrics at Schneider Children’s Hospital in New Hyde Park, New York, and a member of the CHADD professional advisory board.

Is there a link between sugar and ADHD?

People blame sugar for all sorts of things. But there’s no reason to think that it causes ADHD or makes symptoms worse. Controlled studies — the ones that compare kids who are on and off sugar — haven’t found any link to attention or behavior in school-age children. In preschool children, there may be a weak association between sugar and ADHD-like symptoms. If parents feel that diet affects their preschooler’s behavior, it might make sense to try restricting sugar to see what happens.

Although I advise parents to consider limiting sweets for other reasons, including good nutrition and dental hygiene, I do not see this as an effective treatment for ADHD.

How about dyes and other food additives, or food allergies?

ADHD isn’t caused by an allergic reaction to food, or anything in food, including additives. The evidence to support elimination diets or tests for food sensitivities simply doesn’t exist. Although it would be nice if foods had fewer chemical additives and less artificial coloring, parents of children with ADHD should not let a general bias against “unnatural” food ingredients guide their approach to treating ADHD. Dietary interventions are difficult to impose and unlikely to bring any benefit.

On the positive side, can vitamins help control symptoms of ADHD?

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Am I the Worst Parent Ever? by Keath Low

Am I the Worst Parent Ever?

by Keath Low

By Keath Low, About.com Guide

Question: Am I the Worst Parent Ever?

“Oh, I’m just so frustrated! I wish I could just come home and we could be a ‘normal’ family. I know 

that sounds bad but it’s true! Parenting a child with ADHD is hard frick’n work and some days I 

wonder if I’m the worst parent ever!” --About.com Forum Member

Answer:

One of our ADD/ADHD Discussion Forum¹ members wrote in after having a run of horrible days with 

her 8-year-old son. A single parent who works 50 hours a week, she has admitted on the forum that 

she feels exhausted and wants to know how to avoid falling into battles, arguments and power 

struggles with her son. “I just want to come home from work and have a good time with my son 

but by the time I get home (and his medication has worn off), it’s just a constant night of 

struggles,” she writes. The past two days have been the worst she explains, “Yesterday I cried 

about it for 3 hours. Today I put my fist through a wall while he was in the shower. I swear I am 

not a bad parent, even though that sounds terrible to do.” She has tried to spend quality “play” 

time with her son, but then he wants to play all night and avoid homework. “I know he’s only 8, 

but that boy can argue, justify and manipulate every directive I give him until he’s blue in the 

face. Some days, it’s easier to surrender to his strong will. The only thing that makes him happy 

is his Wii and TV and 100% attention all the time.”

Response:

I think you describe the challenge of parenting a child with ADHD perfectly. It can be “hard 

frick’n work!” It takes a tremendous amount of energy, patience, attention and creative 

parenting. As a single parent, you are doing this all on your own. To top it off, you are 

working 50 hours a week!

Try not to be so hard on yourself. You are exhausted. Everything is going to be harder 

when your energy is zapped. For any of us, when we are drained emotionally and physically 

it becomes impossible to be proactive and respond in the most effective way. We may 

engage in the battle rather than stepping back and avoiding the power struggles. And as you 

say, it becomes easier to surrender rather than maintain consistency, but obviously the 

surrendering ends up causing more problems in the long run. A child learns that no doesn’t 

really mean no and the way to get that no to change to a yes is to act out. In other words, 

it reinforces the negative behavior.

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10 Keys to Conquering ADD in the Office by Sandy Maynard

10 Keys to Conquering ADD in the Office

Time management and organization help for adults who want to conquer ADHD at the office and advance at work.

If you're ready to climb the corporate ladder but feel like someone tore the steps to success out of your company handbook, don't worry. Women (and men) with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) often encounter procrastination, communication, and organization problems both professionally and personally, but that doesn't have to mean you're perpetually doomed to entry-level work.

ADHD can indeed cause problems at work, but here are ten ways you can conquer them:

1. Communicate Clearly

Ask questions to understand your assignment fully. Repeat directions that you are given to make sure you have heard them correctly. Ask for specific deadlines, so you know that what is being asked is really doable. If not, address the issue immediately. Do not wait until it is too late and you are forced to bring work home.

2. Get a Handle on Procrastination

Don't let perfectionism thwart your ability to get things done. Ask yourself how you can make it quick and simple. Try bulleting items in memos and calling instead of e-mailing.

3. Limit the Length of Phone Conversations

Time flies when we're on the phone. A call that should take five minutes can easily turn into 45. Preface each call with a time limit by starting out with, "Hi, Thomas. I have only five minutes, but I wanted to give you a quick call to let you know... " The person on the other end will most likely respond appropriately by making their comments short and to the point.

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What You Need to Know About the Americans with Disabilities Act by ADDitude (Magazine) Editors

The Americans with Disabilities Act includes ADHD as a disability. Find out what it means for you.

What is the ADA?

The Americans with Disabilities Act, or ADA, was established by Congress in 1990. The purpose of the law is to end discrimination in the workplace and to provide equal employment opportunities for people with disabilities.

What employers are covered by the ADA?

The ADA applies to businesses with 15 or more employees. This includes:

• private employers
• state and local governments
• employment agencies
• labor organizations
• and labor-management committees

Is ADHD included in the ADA?

Yes. The ADA provides for "mental" conditions or mental illnesses, but as with physical impairments, the diagnosis of a mental illness or mental impairment is not sufficient to qualify an employee for protection under the Act.

The following conditions must be met for ADHD to qualify for coverage:

• It must cause significant impact or limitation in a major life activity or function
• The individual must be regarded as having a disability
• The individual must have a record of having been viewed as being disabled.
• The applicant must also be able to perform the essential job functions with or without accommodations to qualify as an individual with a disability under the meaning of the Act.

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The Key to the Best Outcome by Dr. Edward Hallowell

The Key to the Best Outcome

People often ask me, “What’s the key to getting the best outcome in working with ADD?”

There is no one key.  Watch out for simplistic solutions and the people who offer them.  There is no one best remedy, there is no one best system, there is no one best medication or nutritional supplement.  And what works for one person will not necessarily work for you or your child.

However, having treated ADD in children and adults for over 25 years now, and having ADD as well as dyslexia myself, I can say with absolute certainty that while there is no one key, we do have a marvelous assortment of keys that open many of the doors untreated ADD can seem to close.  The doors to success, personal fulfillment, joy, health, and lifelong satisfaction.

“The key” is to find the various keys that work for you.


"The great mistake people make as they work with their ADD or their child’s is settling for less than the best outcome.  Please don’t make that mistake yourself." - Dr. Edward Hallowell


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The ADHD Diagnostic Bubble by Manuel Mota-Castillo, MD

The ADHD Diagnostic Bubble.

“My hometown has this problem, when they don’t know what is wrong with your child, they say it is ADHD”(A frustrated mother)

“He will blurt things out; he does not know when it is time to joke around and when it is not… He will ask the silliest questions, like: What if an elephant can stand on mom’s head?” “What if a person comes out of a comic book, what would happen?”

With these words a Floridian mother described the behavior of the child whose story I chose to begin my debate over the inflated ADHD statistic. I perceive this case as a portrait of maternal courage and determination because when the question was:

Should I allow the school official to scare me or stand firm for my son’s well-being?

She opted for the latter and stopped the 30 mgs of Ritalin their pediatrician was prescribing for an alleged ADHD diagnosis that was actually made by the boy’s teacher. The busy physician didn’t hear the mother’s concerns about the worsening of behaviors, after the medication was started and decided to rely on the educator’s judgment. Frustrated but vindicated, the mother said:

“The school wanted him back on Ritalin. His teacher threatened to send him back every day that he misbehaved. I told her: do it!.”

Then she gave the following family history:
“His Dad is exactly like him… my father-in law has depression and on my side of the family, my mother had “manic-depression” and she died 3 weeks ago… my aunt has depression and my brother is a bad case of OCD.”

This boy’s Mental Status Examination showed an above average intelligence and good concentration. His artistic skills are evident in this drawing of a “new Picachu.”
After one sees a talented boy with a clearly elevated mood and a family history loaded with mood problems, the question is:

What kind of rationale could have been followed to diagnose a child like this with ADHD?


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